Finding Yourself.

So it is the end of the year which for some as well as me means, parties, looking forward, catching up but also reflection. It is time to look at our achievements, our failures, our regrets, the memories but amongst all this, really why we're reflecting, the aim is yto find out something more about ourselves, something more about who we are and what makes us happy. I have known who I am srecurely and been happy and been comfortable about it for a while now. However, lately I needed reminding,trying not to get lost in all the craziness of this time of year and all the drama. So, to do this, I read quotes to find inspiration, listen to songs from childhood such as S Club 7 and I watch cheesy movies because this helps me to get grounded and know what's important to me. When people hurt or annoy me this, this is what I do then too, this is my solace, where I can find happiness but know who I am and what's important. I am sharing this with you so hopefully you too can do things that take you to a spiritual place where you know and can be who you are.

Victimisation

I have felt like a victim a few times in my life:

• When I got bullied at school.
• When I got involved with a boyfriend who wanted to control my life.
• And when I failed my as levels the first time round.

The thing is I don't believe that at a time, I was ever really a victim. A victim is someone who is weak and can't stand up for themselves right?? Maybe not, because a victim can still be a strong person and going through that pain will most definitely make them a stronger person. It is very hard and sensitive to go through especially by yourself. here should be help available from parents, teachers, friends  or realtives and then of course there are helplines such as Childline. Although it is worth remembering bullying can occur anywhere- school, home, work, neighbourhoods etc.  I don't particularly like the word victim because of the connotations of the word but so many people fail to realise that the victim may be the stronger one as people often bully because they have thewir own insecurities and picking on others in that way makes them appear more popular and respected to others. They do it as a way of gaining dominance.

X Factor

Ok, so I have (loosely) been following this year's X Factor. And last night Misha B failed to make it to the final, she has found herself to be less favoured by the public now especially since her confession that she was once a school bully.

I, myself found this revelation an interesting one because I'm not sure whether she admitted to being a bully because she is remorseful of what she's done orecause she wanted to use the ''I've been bullied'excuse.
I'd like to beliecve that she has change but she comes across as slightly aggressive, I will never know what she's like as a person because I'll never meet her but I do not believe that she brings herself across in the best way on X Factor that showsd she has changed and developed as a person. I believe that people can change and they do mature and grow up yet I'm not so sure about her. Tulisa's comments about her being a bully are something I find hard to believe that somebody would make up.

Misha also claims that Tulisa's comments were unfair because being branded a bully on national television isn't nice however I strongly disagree that they were, as a person you make mistakes, have wrongdoings but they stay with you forever and the past always find a way to follow you. Misha may have moved on from the person she was or wrongdoi8ngs of her past but they will always be her actions that she committed. Bullies rarely get punished for being bullies, it is the victims that fall weak and are ounished physically, mentally or psychologically, it is greedy and unfair for her to ask that it did not get brought up. Yes ok, maybe the claims ruined her chances but instead of sobbing about it on or off air, she should do something to show that she is not a bully.

The public have obviously failed to warm to Misha because of the fact sh was a bully, no I do not see it would be fair if  a bully won the X Factor but thrn again, the claims were never really investigated. I find it hard to contend that Frankie Cocozza took cocaine and had a partying nature about him and got kicked out because this was an image the X Factor did not want to be associated with, yet they let a bully who yes is very talented, remain in the competition because she has more talent. Bullying is not right and I will NEVER condone it, I do not think that the X Factor should either just because someone has a lot of talent.

America

I didn't post last week unfortunately because I was in NYC! But I am now back. Being in America, it made me think about Americanisms and the things, we think about other countries stereotypically. The Americans were lovely. People often make Americans out to be rude or self obsessed but this was not the case at all. Yes, they are very patriotic and proud of their country but while I was out there, there were many mentions of the Turkish earthquake that had struck on the news. As for their customer service in shops, they were very polite, welcoming and always happy to share knowledge, information and anecdotes. It was like being in Waitrose the whole time! No, but seriously, the UK could learn a lot from them, not only in terms of how good customer service is or how nicely they welcome visitors but in the general proudness for being american. They are not proud in a snobby sort of way like we are here but in a way, that they realise that their country is their own and they ave an influence on how it does and how it works. Especially at Ground Zero, it makes you realise that the events of 9/11, traumatic, sorrowful and painful as they were really helped to pull the nation together and realise the true spirit of America and their ancestors' dreams and hopes for a united nation.

Why Stop & Stand Up?

I have recently realised that Stop & Stand Up is a name for another blogspot blog to stop bullying however the name for this blog was something I came up with by myself. ( You know they say great minds think alike!) I decided to name it this because we need to Stop bullies and Stand Up for the 'victims', ourselves, dignity and a better world.

Why I Believe Bullying Is Wrong

Bullying is wrong because it makes a person miserable, feel small and inferior, that is not the way the world should operate. Bullying can make a person who is already vulnerable even more likely to suffer depression or consider suicide. Even a little comment here or there or a bitch about someone heard by the wrong person can be blown up in to something much bigger. We all say something bad about someone every now and again but we should try not to. We have all agreed with someone that someone is bad or not nice just to avoid confrontation when really we shouild stop and express our own views and Stand Up for that person that we would like to be our friend.

StopAndStandUp!

Stop and Stand Up For:

• Love
• Peace
• Friends
• Family
• Hope
• Pleasure
• Protection
• Defence
• Hobbies

The Aims of This Blog

I reallywant to help people that feel that they are being bullied at home, at work, at school or anywhere else.
This can be anything from threats, name calling, physical abuse or slander.
I want people to be able to come here and seek advice.
I have no experience of this other then having been bullied myself for a few years at secondary school although I have dealt with many other accusations and my ex boyfriend was also a victim of domestic abuse.
I hope that you find my advice, memoirs interesting and helpful.